Pope Resigns in Order to be With Valentine

In a shocking turn of events, Pope Benedict XVI has given up…

Penis Surprises Hand with Box of Chocolates on Valentine’s Day

Freshmen Dorms Brace for Wave of Awkward Sexual Tension on Valentine’s Day

In preparation for Valentine’s Day, residents of freshmen dorms have already begun…

Flipside Offers $5 “Stalker-Grams” This Valentine’s Day

While lovestruck couples flood the campus with “crush grams” and flowers this…

Student Proposes to Cocoa Puffs on Valentine’s Day

Senior Mark Ryman wanted to make this Valentine’s Day special, so he…

Rich Old Man, Hot Young Woman Overcome Obstacles to Find True Love

It’s a story truly worthy of attention on this Valentine’s Day February…

ASSU Matchmaker Pairs Entire Female Campus with David Gobaud

While organizers initially dubbed the premiere of the ASSU Matchmaker Service a…

TA Spends Another Valentine’s Day Office Hours Alone

With the next problem set not due until one week later, Math…