Post Tagged with: "valentine’s day"

Loveside Dating Advice: Deal Breakers

February 16, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Loveside Dating Advice: Deal Breakers
Loveside Dating Advice: Deal Breakers

Hey Stanford babies. Can’t figure out why you were still single on Valentine’s Day? Read this list of doozie deal breakers below. Sweatpants Unless you’re a Stanford athlete (Go Card!) or doing a workout, sweatpants are a no-no! Let us put it in simple terms: if you wear sweatpants you […]

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Op-Ed: Listen Jen, McDonalds is Fucking Good Enough for Valentine’s Day

February 18, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on Op-Ed: Listen Jen, McDonalds is Fucking Good Enough for Valentine’s Day
Op-Ed: Listen Jen, McDonalds is Fucking Good Enough for Valentine’s Day

Alright Jen, you can open your eyes now- we’re here! What do you think? Jen, don’t give me that look, we’re both busy individuals and it’s impossible to get reservations on Valentine’s Day- Jen! Come on, what matters? Paying too much for some snooty restaurant or the fact that I […]

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Pope Resigns in Order to be With Valentine

February 21, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Pope Resigns in Order to be With Valentine
Pope Resigns in Order to be With Valentine

In a shocking turn of events, Pope Benedict XVI has given up his position at the head of the Catholic Church in order to be with what he spoke of as the ‘love of his life’ , a 75-year old Venetian woman who sent the Pope a Valentine with the […]

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Penis Surprises Hand with Box of Chocolates on Valentine’s Day

February 11, 2013 12:01 pmComments Off on Penis Surprises Hand with Box of Chocolates on Valentine’s Day
Penis Surprises Hand with Box of Chocolates on Valentine’s Day
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Freshmen Dorms Brace for Wave of Awkward Sexual Tension on Valentine’s Day

February 13, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Freshmen Dorms Brace for Wave of Awkward Sexual Tension on Valentine’s Day
Freshmen Dorms Brace for Wave of Awkward Sexual Tension on Valentine’s Day

In preparation for Valentine’s Day, residents of freshmen dorms have already begun anticipating the messages that they may inadvertently send to their neighbors over the course of the holiday. “I think it’s a cute gesture to give flowers to the girls in your dorm on Valentine’s Day, but I don’t […]

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Flipside Offers $5 “Stalker-Grams” This Valentine’s Day

6:00 amComments Off on Flipside Offers $5 “Stalker-Grams” This Valentine’s Day
Flipside Offers $5 “Stalker-Grams” This Valentine’s Day

While lovestruck couples flood the campus with “crush grams” and flowers this Valentine’s Day, the Flipside is offering you the opportunity to send a much more personal gift to the object of your obsession. For only $5, you can send your unrequited lover a lock of their own hair taken […]

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Student Proposes to Cocoa Puffs on Valentine’s Day

February 15, 2011 9:00 amComments Off on Student Proposes to Cocoa Puffs on Valentine’s Day
Student Proposes to Cocoa Puffs on Valentine’s Day

Senior Mark Ryman wanted to make this Valentine’s Day special, so he decided to propose to the love of his life: Cocoa Puffs. According to Ryman, a childhood friend initially planted the idea of marrying Cocoa Puffs in his head when he asked him, “If you love them so much, […]

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Rich Old Man, Hot Young Woman Overcome Obstacles to Find True Love

February 13, 2011 1:42 pmComments Off on Rich Old Man, Hot Young Woman Overcome Obstacles to Find True Love
Rich Old Man, Hot Young Woman Overcome Obstacles to Find True Love

It’s a story truly worthy of attention on this Valentine’s Day February 14th, and it can teach us just a little bit about the power of love. Christopher Duke and Amy Morgan are not your typical married couple. He’s the 70-year-old owner of multibillion dollar steel conglomerate Alcoa, and she […]

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ASSU Matchmaker Pairs Entire Female Campus with David Gobaud

February 16, 2010 5:36 pm0 comments
ASSU Matchmaker Pairs Entire Female Campus with David Gobaud

While organizers initially dubbed the premiere of the ASSU Matchmaker Service a success, reports of tampering have led students and administrators alike to question the effectiveness of the service. By Valentine’s Day, it appeared that over two thousand individuals had registered for the free service. Students first began to suspect […]

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TA Spends Another Valentine’s Day Office Hours Alone

March 1, 2009 10:45 pm0 comments
TA Spends Another Valentine’s Day Office Hours Alone

With the next problem set not due until one week later, Math 51 Teaching Assistant Derek Mitchell spent his February 14th, 3:30 pm to 5 pm weekly office hours alone again in Room 380-U. “I didn’t expect there to be anything special, like a whole room of students who wanted […]

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