Post Tagged with: "ResEd"

FroSoCo Preassignees Mistakenly Assigned to TDX

June 10, 2019 12:00 pmComments Off on FroSoCo Preassignees Mistakenly Assigned to TDX
FroSoCo Preassignees Mistakenly Assigned to TDX

On Tuesday, Residential Education acknowledged that several who preassigned to the Freshman-Sophomore College (FroSoCo) were mistakenly assigned to Theta Delta Chi (TDX) due to a “procedural data entry error.” ResEd has reviewed its procedures and discovered a flaw in their method of assigning students to campus residences. “We typed it […]

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ResEd Declares Key-less Entry “Still a work in progress.”

October 26, 2014 12:00 pmComments Off on ResEd Declares Key-less Entry “Still a work in progress.”
ResEd Declares Key-less Entry “Still a work in progress.”

In a press conference last week, Stanford R&DE admitted that a method of key-less entry to Stanford buildings is no closer to fruition than when the project began, this time last year. “The project was supposed to be simple. We thought we could maybe just drill small holes in the […]

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Freshmen Not That Hot This Year

September 23, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Freshmen Not That Hot This Year
Freshmen Not That Hot This Year

Coming on the heels of an unseasonably cool NSO period, numerous independent sources have confirmed that the men and women in Stanford’s Class of 2017 are simply not as hot as the freshmen classes of previous years. “I always like to hang out near Wilbur and check out the new […]

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ResEd Announces Plans to Install Full-Body Scanners in All Row Houses

March 12, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on ResEd Announces Plans to Install Full-Body Scanners in All Row Houses
ResEd Announces Plans to Install Full-Body Scanners in All Row Houses

Following the announcements of plans to install card readers on every row house and the creation of an all-row dining hall, Residential Education has come forward with their most ambitious renovation yet. This week they released plans to install full-body, backscatter x-ray scanners in every row house. Representatives from ResEd […]

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Flipside Literary Corner

March 4, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Flipside Literary Corner
Flipside Literary Corner

More like Nineteen-Eighty-RESED, am I right? Sometimes they say reality is scarier than fiction.  Never has that seemed truer now that Resed has started curtailing our freedoms in the name of big-brother style collectivist autocracy.  When I hear about Suites dining being shut down I can’t help but be reminded […]

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Arrillaga Dining to Introduce Trough-Style Feeding

February 25, 2013 12:02 pmComments Off on Arrillaga Dining to Introduce Trough-Style Feeding
Arrillaga Dining to Introduce Trough-Style Feeding

Stanford Residential and Dining Enterprises announced today that they will be replacing the tables and chairs in Wilbur with baryard-style benches and troughs. Come “feeding time”–as head chef Rob Patertino now calls Lunch and Dinner–food will be heaved into the troughs by one of the kitchen’s hired hands and students […]

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ResEd Replaces Draw With First Come First Serve System

May 7, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on ResEd Replaces Draw With First Come First Serve System
ResEd Replaces Draw With First Come First Serve System

In response to widespread complaints about the draw being inefficient, and “the worst system ever,” ResEd has decided to revamp the entire housing assignment program. “The draw clearly had its problems, so we’ve decided to switch to a first-come first-serve system,” said Assistant Director of Residential Education, Zac Sargeant.  “We […]

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Study Finds Students Get “Good Night’s Sleep” After Special Dinner

February 23, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Study Finds Students Get “Good Night’s Sleep” After Special Dinner
Study Finds Students Get “Good Night’s Sleep” After Special Dinner

A study released earlier this week by members of the Kappa Alpha Fraternity suggests Special Dinner actually improves both quantity and quality of sleep for participating students, a landmark discovery that may revolutionize perspectives on this debaucherous Stanford tradition. “I’ve always looked at Special Dinner as a liability, given how […]

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1035 Residents Lose House

February 6, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on 1035 Residents Lose House
1035 Residents Lose House

After a whirlwind turn of events, the residents of 1035 Campus Drive have been informed by campus administrators that they will not be allowed to return to 1035 for the next academic year. Megan Wertzelbok, Resident Dean, justified the controversial decision, “Residents of 1035 are expected to conduct themselves with […]

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Students Draw into Crothers Memorial Nursing Home

May 30, 2010 3:58 pmComments Off on Students Draw into Crothers Memorial Nursing Home
Students Draw into Crothers Memorial Nursing Home
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