After a whirlwind turn of events, the residents of 1035 Campus Drive have been informed by campus administrators that they will not be allowed to return to 1035 for the next academic year. Megan Wertzelbok, Resident Dean, justified the controversial decision, “Residents of 1035 are expected to conduct themselves with a certain maximum level of decorum,” said Wertzelbok as she pointed to pictures of 21-year-old 1035 residents drinking a moderate level of alcohol and having predominantly consensual sex. “Our office believes that the residents of 1035 have violated the trust of the campus community, and we are looking to move in another direction.” Residents of 1035 have already announced their intention to appeal the decision, claiming it was based on a series of “isolated incidents and overblown rumors.”

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