Post Tagged with: "obama"

Obama Goes on Erectile Dysfunction Tangent During State of the Union Address

February 22, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Obama Goes on Erectile Dysfunction Tangent During State of the Union Address
Obama Goes on Erectile Dysfunction Tangent During State of the Union Address

Political analysts and news syndicates expressed surprise over President Obama’s State of the Union Address, which included an unexpected ten minute digression regarding the topic of erectile dysfunction. The Commander-in-Chief addressed both his colleagues and the American people, explaining that it’s perfectly acceptable for men over fifty to become impotent, […]

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Barack and Michelle Obama Deliver Cloyingly Sweet “State of Our Union” Address

February 19, 2013 12:02 pmComments Off on Barack and Michelle Obama Deliver Cloyingly Sweet “State of Our Union” Address
Barack and Michelle Obama Deliver Cloyingly Sweet “State of Our Union” Address

Given the immense popularity of Michelle Obama and the public admiration of their happy  marriage, the Obamas followed the President’s official State of the Union Address with a nauseatingly cute “State of Our Union Address,” designed to deliver a warm, fuzzy stimulus package directly to people’s hearts. The Obamas shared […]

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Op-Ed: I Can’t Believe We Are Going to Have Four More Years of Obama

January 23, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Op-Ed: I Can’t Believe We Are Going to Have Four More Years of Obama
Op-Ed: I Can’t Believe We Are Going to Have Four More Years of Obama

I’m not a strongly political person, but when I saw Barack Hussein Obama taking the oath of office for a second time Monday I couldn’t help but feel absolutely disgusted. The idea of four more years of Obama is absolutely abhorrent to me, and I believe it is dangerous for […]

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Obama Issues Strong, Decisive Statement on Israel/Palestine Conflict

December 3, 2012 12:00 pmComments Off on Obama Issues Strong, Decisive Statement on Israel/Palestine Conflict
Obama Issues Strong, Decisive Statement on Israel/Palestine Conflict

In a press conference Monday morning, President Obama finally issued a statement in which he clarified his office’s position on the growing conflict between Israel and Palestine. The President has come under fire for not taking strong enough action to address the recent outbreaks of escalating violence in the Middle […]

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An Inside Look at Brobama’s America

November 18, 2012 9:00 amComments Off on An Inside Look at Brobama’s America
An Inside Look at Brobama’s America

With the close of the election just last week, President Obama revealed his plans for a second term. “I’m thinking we just take it easy and chill for a bit. As a country, we all need to slow down and, like, relax. Four years is a long time.” The President […]

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Republicans Move to Canada, Regret it Nearly Instantly

November 17, 2012 9:00 amComments Off on Republicans Move to Canada, Regret it Nearly Instantly
Republicans Move to Canada, Regret it Nearly Instantly

In a trend that has been spotted throughout the nation, millions of Republicans are fulfilling their promise that they “would move to Canada if Obama is re-elected.” Many of these republicans have nearly instantly regretted the decision. Not only have these people been annoyed with the consistent politeness of the […]

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Alaskans Not Even Sure Why They Bother

November 16, 2012 9:00 amComments Off on Alaskans Not Even Sure Why They Bother
Alaskans Not Even Sure Why They Bother

As CNN announced Obama the winner of the presidential race a full twenty minutes before polls closed in Alaska, residents of the 49th state once again pondered why they still show up at the polls on election day. “We start late, we end late, everyone knows we’re Republican anyway, and all […]

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Obama Revealed to be Stanford AI Lab Experiment

November 6, 2012 5:00 pmComments Off on Obama Revealed to be Stanford AI Lab Experiment
Obama Revealed to be Stanford AI Lab Experiment

In the days leading up to the election, the Stanford AI Lab announced that Barack Hussein Obama, president of the United States of America, is actually an experiment devised by Stanford researchers codenamed “President 2.0”. “We coded President 2.0 with a bunch of empty phrases like ‘hope and change’ to […]

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Candidates Battle for the Important Touch of Gray Endorsement

1:00 pmComments Off on Candidates Battle for the Important Touch of Gray Endorsement
Candidates Battle for the Important Touch of Gray Endorsement

In light of recent polls showing an undecided demographic of graying middle-aged men, the Obama and Romney campaigns have adopted a dramatic new approach to attracted these voters.  In hopes of swaying this crucial constituency, both candidates have lobbied the executives at the famed producer of the presidential look, Just […]

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In Tight Election Year, All Eyes on Idaho

11:50 amComments Off on In Tight Election Year, All Eyes on Idaho
In Tight Election Year, All Eyes on Idaho

As election day nears, the battle for Idaho has intensified to unprecedented levels, with candidates from both parties criscrossing the state in hopes of locking down its four critical electoral votes. “No Republican candidate has ever won the presidency without winning Idaho,” said political blogger Nate Silver.  “It’s going to be critical for the Romney campaign […]

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