In light of recent polls showing an undecided demographic of graying middle-aged men, the Obama and Romney campaigns have adopted a dramatic new approach to attracted these voters.  In hopes of swaying this crucial constituency, both candidates have lobbied the executives at the famed producer of the presidential look, Just For Men: Touch of Gray.

The company has been looking for a new spokesman that fits the product’s motto: “Show you have experience, but still have energy,” as well as “No damaging ammonia or peroxide.”  These criteria have led to the dismissal of the two front-runner candidates for the endorsement, according to CEO George Clooney, as Obama seems to have worn out his spark on the road and Romney is clearly filled with harmful chemicals.

Instead, Just for Men went in another direction.  Green Party candidate for president Jill Stein has graciously accepted Touch of Gray’s endorsement for her colorless locks.  Remarks Clooney: “It may be a touch more than a Touch, but I think she fits our brand perfectly. We may give her a ‘Touch of Green’ special edition box.”

You May Also Like

Black Eyed Peas Sued for Falsely Advertising Quality of Thursday Night



Lets just be honest about it, Thursday night September 10, 2009, was…

President Obama Vetoes Keystone Pipeline, Call For Pabst Blue Ribbon Pipeline

Recently, President Obama has come under fire for refusing to approve construction…

Contention For Favored Poop Toilet Intensifies As Bathroom Schedules Align

Freshman John Wilkins was on his way to complete his morning ritual,…

Google StreetView Catches Student Breaking The Honor Code

By Rory Sampson STANFORD, CA—With new technology comes new consequences, as junior…