A Royal Decree from DavidMan to the Stanford Community

To Our Loyal Constituents  Serfs, We, the DavidMan, have deigned to take valuable…

Report: Essay Still Due

Sources indicate that your essay is still due this Thursday at 5:00…

Falling In Polls, Rubio Unleashes ‘First The Worst, Second The Best’ Strategy

Fresh off a string of disappointing Super Tuesday results, Marco Rubio has…

Crack Team of Eleven Men Led by George Clooney Only Group That Can Stop Trump

As business magnate Donald Trump’s ascent to the Republican nomination comes to…

National Study Discovers New Breed of “Old White Guy”: Bernie Sanders

Friday, the United States electorate discovered a brand new variety of person…

Study Finds News of 2016 Election Best Taken Rectally

With the recent announcement of Ted Cruz’s presidential bid, coverage of the…

Ohioans Return to Meaningless, Insignificant Ohio Lives

Jill Stein Not a Real Person

A scientific study conducted by the University of Delaware has indicated that…