Reindeer Transportation Hopes to Offer Relief From Dependence on Foreign Oil

December 7, 2008 7:49 pm
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Thanksgiving has come and gone, and, in the true American spirit, each and every potential customer is now completely inundated with holiday advertisements. And, what would the materialist’s month be without the quintessential TV commercials released by auto companies, showing off speed around sharp turns and sleek designs wrapped in holiday tinsel? Well, things might be different this year.

Dependency on foreign oil is among the major concerns of today’s troubled economy, so much so that many otherwise eager shoppers this holiday season are giving the dream ‘car for Christmas’ a second thought. In fact, new start-up Blitzen Solutions hopes to capitalize on this by introducing what it calls a “magical and cost-efficient alternative” to the BMW or Lexus on the wish list. For the first time ever, “flying reindeer” have been made available to the general public, long thought only a myth monopolized by the top toymaker, Santa Claus, himself. Several breeds are now for sale in many parts of the U.S. and Canada, with prices depending largely on the shine of the snout (several ruby colored rarities are apparently available to those with a little extra padding in the pocket).

One Palo Alto shopper, who preferred to remain anonymous for fear of ruining the surprise, explained his reason for purchasing two of the deer, plus a half-price sleigh: “It’s the real-deal. I didn’t even believe it was possible, making stops all around the world in just one night. You really have to see it to believe it―it’s just incredible.”

Talk among customers in a line extending far beyond the entrance of a local Blitzen Solutions outlet was equally optimistic about this holiday season’s biggest success story. An impromptu used car depot has even sprouted up in the parking lot next door, as so few of the new reindeer owners plan on returning to their old method of transportation.

Since hitting the market, reindeer sales have far exceeded expectations, triggering Blitzen Solutions’ stock to rally up, up, and away, with no end in sight. A company spokesman tried to explain what the fuss is all about: “What if we could drive flying reindeer instead of cars? Replace foreign oil with homegrown lettuce as the fuel of the future? That’s the premise. This isn’t just about saving a few bucks―it’s about getting America off the black gold. Santa doesn’t bow to OPEC, so why should we?”

One question remains: How did they finally get their hands on Santa’s little secret? Blitzen Solutions’ founder and CEO, however, declined to comment.

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