March Madness: Rock Upsets Paper, Will Face Scissors in Championship

In one of the most stunning upsets in recent memory, Rock defeated…

Hundreds of 5’6″, Apple-Scented Indian Men Come Under Scrutiny

Stanford’s large population of short-statured Indian men who smell of apples have…

Thousands of Tamagotchis Die In Japanese Tsunami Aftermath

TOKYO–Weeks after the tsunami and incidents at the Fukushima nuclear facilities, Japan…

Obama Announces 2012 Bid, Promises to Close Guantanamo Again

WASHINGTON—President Barack Obama formally kicked off his re-election campaign Monday with a…

Stanford Housing, ASSU Take First Steps Towards Perfect Utopia

STANFORD–In response to recent complaints about a lack of unity at Stanford,…

Billboard Momentarily Causes Students to Reconsider Helmet-Wearing Decision

Recently, Stanford Parking and Transportation officials have put up a flashing road…