In one of the most stunning upsets in recent memory, Rock defeated Paper in their first round tournament matchup, a result that is especially surprising due to Rock’s well-documented struggles against Paper in the past few decades.

“It feels great to beat these guys considering our long string of losses against them,” commented Rock coach Greg Stone in an interview after the game, “They usually find a way to blanket our offensive, but we finally got the better of them today and tore them to shreds.”

With the win, Rock advances to the championship game to meet longtime rival Scissors, a team that Rock has fared particularly well against over the history of the rivalry.

“We are definitely looking forward to this matchup with Scissors because we have smashed them in most of our recent matchups,” said Rock’s star player Tyler Granite, “But we aren’t getting too confident. For instance, we have always struggled against Paper’s smothering game plan, but Scissors usually cuts right through their defense, so maybe they are a better team than us after all.”

Paper player and coaches were terse in their postgame interviews, emphasizing that their matchup with Rock was unfair because they thought that it was supposed to be a best two out of three.

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