FBI Raid Uncovers Michael Cohen’s Extensive Tiny Ballerina Shoe Collection—Not Illegal, Just Kinda Weird

Missile Strikes on Syrian Chlorine Factories Leave Assad’s Pool Faintly Piss-Scented

Several days after President Donald Trump launched several targeted missile strikes against…

Fucking Typical: This Millennial Spent All His Money on Avocado Toast and Healthcare

No surprises here, folks: just another lazy teenager, sucking dry the plump…

Jeff Sessions Introduces New Policy Aimed at Stopping “Urban Youths” from Stealing Pies Off Window Sills

In a surprise announcement Monday morning, Jeff Sessions introduced a new anti-crime…

Trembling Mitch McConnell Tightly Clutches Anthropomorphic Stuffed Firearm Amidst Calls for Gun Reform

A warm glass of milk, a quick splash of water to the…

Report: Trump Enjoying a Lively Game of Monopoly: Horse Lovers Edition Amidst Government Shutdown

Following the government shutdown this past week, President and Rich Man Donald…