Jeff Sessions Introduces New Policy Aimed at Stopping “Urban Youths” from Stealing Pies Off Window Sills

In a surprise announcement Monday morning, Jeff Sessions introduced a new anti-crime…

Meet the 2018 Line of American Girl Dolls!

Watch out, exciting news ahead! That’s right, industry giant American Girl Doll…

Trembling Mitch McConnell Tightly Clutches Anthropomorphic Stuffed Firearm Amidst Calls for Gun Reform

A warm glass of milk, a quick splash of water to the…