Santa’s ELF Committee Runs Out of Money Because “Some Children Were Greedy Little Shits This Year”

Barely more than a month into 2019, an email sent out last…

TDX House Comes Back from Tornado, Lands On Top of Wicked ResEd Dean of the South

The magical land of drunken munchkin men, otherwise known as TDX, had…

Acquaintance’s Enthusiastic “Hello” Sparks Confusion for Student Biker

In a perplexing turn of events Friday before break, sophomore Billy Redrick’s…

Op Ed: I finished harvesting all my organs and now I finally have enough money to buy a PS3!

It’s one of those days you can’t help but wake up with…

Report: Trump Enjoying a Lively Game of Monopoly: Horse Lovers Edition Amidst Government Shutdown

Following the government shutdown this past week, President and Rich Man Donald…

Op-Ed: I Can Detach My Jaw Like an Anaconda in Order to Eat Eggplants Vertically

Yes, I have the ability to detach my upper jaw from my…