It has come to our attention that the Flipside did not recognize and congratulate the achievements of some recent Nobel laureates in a timely manner, a blunder we can only describe as humiliating and catastrophic. As the Flipside is the leading news source in cultivating campus culture, we take criticism seriously and continually strive to become an ever-more revolting and profane version of ourselves. It is in light of this that we’ve decided to reflect on what we see in the gilded disco ball in the secret underground Flipside cabal’s meeting place we call home, lawfully purchased with the funds that the ASSU so generously lavishes up on us, and do our part to uplift those who lack the recognition they deserve.
It is to Stanford’s detriment that the university has always been an institute of higher education in the most elevated sense, training men and women to think deeply and critically about fundamental issues and eschewing the development of “crass” vocational skills like coding or networking. Hence, STEM majors are frequently denied the opportunities, funding, and attention that supposedly more intellectually fertile fields like “Anthropology” and “Religious Studies” and “English” receive in excess. Subjects like Computer Science and Economics are left in the dust simply because they aren’t seen as lucrative or employable. It’s particularly important to recognize the men working in these forgotten fields, who have long been underrepresented, ridiculed, and harassed by the bossy women in charge.
Recognizing the weight of our platform and the influence we possess in the Stanford community, today we’re plain chuffed to stand with #MenInStem! If you’re anything like us, fed up with recent talk of “Ruth Bader Ginsberg” this and “Louise Glück” that, then you were delighted to hear that two manly Stanford economists were recognized for their hard work in inventing what they call “money”, little strips of paper with faces on them that can be exchanged for goods and services. “‘Money,’ the color of a fresh spring clover, promises to make the rich man richer and the poor man even more miserable and wretched,” described laureate Wilson in an exclusive interview with the Flipside that really happened. “Thanks to ‘Money’, you don’t have to lug around bags of unrefined gold and silver to the stock exchange or auction anymore!” Truly, an innovation that will revolutionize the world—we at the Flipside earnestly thank you for your unfettered testicular wisdom.