So Cool! MTL Dabbed After Signing an Arms Deal With the Saudi Military, and It Is #GivingUsLife

April 30, 2019 7:00 pm
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So Cool! MTL Dabbed After Signing an Arms Deal With the Saudi Military, and It Is #GivingUsLife

Okay, look — we all already know Marc “Daddy” Tessier “Daddy” Lavigne is the all-time coolest president of an elite private research university, but now it’s for goddam sure: MTL just did a celebratory dab after negotiating a successful arms deal with Saudi Arabia’s military, and it is #giving #us #life rn.

Only a few seconds after setting pen to paper and finalizing a new bilateral trade agreement to funnel experimental biochemical weapons directly from Stanford’s Shriram Center to Riyadh, Tessier-Lavigne — aka “Jonny Bones,” as he asked my posse of teenage skater punks to call him last time we met up down at the park — did basically the coolest thing you can do after securing a lucrative defense contract with a theocratic monarchy: he hit that dab like a boss.

Woah — Zaddy MTL just FLEXED on those HATERS over in the HAGUE!

And if you think that’s cool, check this shit out: after dabbing, Stanford’s president (and resident Original Gangsta) turned to Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman and said, in perfect Arabic, “All you, fam.” And then Bin Salman FRIGGIN DABBED TOO! It was honestly so cool, and even aside from the mutually-enriching arms deal they’d just agreed to, you could tell they were really just two bros hanging out and vibing with each other.

Amid all the sad things in the world — sexism, homophobia, the ongoing crisis in Yemen, or whatever— it’s so rad to see a normal and cool guy like Stanford University President Marc Tessier-Lavigne just hanging out and hitting a sick dab to celebrate a job well done. Here’s to you, broski!

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