Look guys, hear me out on this one. Megalodon is real and he is living in Lake Lag right now. I get it, you might be a little skeptical. I was too at first! Does it really make sense for this massive shark, presumed extinct for over 2 million years, and coming in at up to 60 feet in length and 100 tons, to be living in our little lake? The sheep out there will probably tell you no, but regardless of what they think, they’re wrong.
For one thing, there’s photographic proof. Check out my Snap Story. Admittedly, it’s a little blurry because I had to zoom in all the way. But you can still clearly make out a small disturbance in the surface of the water if you look closely. Someone claimed that this was just a floating stick but they clearly don’t know the intricacies of Megalodon conspiracy theories like I do.
Second, there’s like three people missing from my dorm. They all left the dorm and didn’t come back. And they all have been to Lake Lag before! It can’t be a coincidence. Megalodon is slowly eating its way through Stanford’s undergraduate population.
And the recently sent out safety notice about not swimming in Lake Lag? It is undoubtedly a thinly veiled attempt by the administration to hide the fact that this massive carnivorous fish is hanging out in the lake. I know some of you aren’t going to believe me right away. But you have to understand, this is real and the administration is just going to keep trying to cover it up unless we remain aware and vigilant of this massive ancient shark living in our own backyard.