Wazzup! It’s ya girl, Hillary Rodham Clinton. Now, I’m not like any of those other whack candidates — I’m hip, I’m kool, I’m chill. Not like that Donald Trump, or should I say Donald Chump!! He’s so “basic.” I bet he doesn’t even know what a Hotline Bling — or cohesive immigration reform — is! I won’t bore you guys with all that boring shizness though! We’re here to let loose and have fun—two things about which I know many things. Like, sometimes I take off my fashionable, yet sensible, ergonomic heels and rock the Tims or Birks instead. I’m just like you guyz; I can lay back, put on my casual pants suit, and just chillax. I bet that dope, Ted Cruz, can’t let loose—of outdated ideas and unabated bigotry, that is! LOL!
Now, you might be asking yourself, what would a Hillary Clinton presidency be like? The answer: #lit #fiscallyresponsible ! I believe that my plain connection to the youth — and maybe even my years of national and global leadership experience — makes me the perf candidate for you. I mean, “Hillary” is actually short for Chillary! Haha, that was a joke; my name is Hillary Diane Rodham Clinton. And I know what you might be thinking, but do not worry about all of that email business! New email, who dis, right? Yes, that is correct.
So, my millenializzles, can I count on you to support my journey to the White Trap House? 🙂