“Government SLUTdown 69: The XXX Porn Parody” Shocks, Empassions, Has This Writer Hot AND Bothered”

OMAHA — The Libertarian Party, comprised mostly of sweaty middle-aged men with bald spots and bushy eyebrows, found themselves with a whole lot of time on their hands as a result of the federal government shutdown last Tuesday. To occupy themselves, they turned their significant political know-how to the task of producing a steamy pornographic video featuring a number of “actors” and “actresses” portraying various political figures.

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The film, which will be sold as part of the Libertarian Party’s 69th annual fundraising effort, includes such scenes as BaRock-Hard Obama (played by Donald Cummings) and John Boner (played by Walter Dixx) working to avoid budgetary issues but instead getting dragged into the “Fiscal Clit” in a show-stealing performance by Jessica Juggs as Nancy PeLoosely.

And when Dick Cheney (played by John Smith) arrives to clean the White House pool, all bets are off.

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He and Laura Bush (played by Sarah Matthews) go at it for hours in a tantalizing water aerobics scene that vaguely resembles throwing a limp hot dog into a slide at an abandoned water park.

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MY REVIEW: Five stars! I loved it, even though it took me about ten tries (and pairs of pants) to get past the first scene.

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Definitely one to watch with a platonic friend.

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