SAN FRANCISCO, CA – This week has proved a difficult one for the United States and the world. From racially motivated threats across college campuses to terrorist attacks in Paris and Beirut, activists of all stripes have heard their call to action.

Not everyone, however, has immediately taken to the cause. Recent Stanford graduate, Cody Peterson (’15), has remained silent on the issue. Peterson, an avid sign-holder last Spring at the height of the #BlackLivesMatter movement, was found last Friday evening in the kitchen of his dusty, cramped apartment. When asked about his thoughts on the latest concerns occupying his younger peers, Peterson took a bite of freshly microwaved mac and cheese and said “I’m just so glad I left that silly college stuff behind, y’know?”

“It’s liberating,” Peterson continued, “to be so powerless to effect change. Back when I was in school, putting filters on profile pictures, I was at the center of it all. But now, now that I’m in the real world with a real job, real income, and real political influence, I finally don’t have to worry about the plights of others anymore!”

Peterson, while adjusting his sweatpants, went on to express his sympathies for his friends a year below in school, noting that things may seem hard now, but soon enough the problems of the world will become much easier to ignore.

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