Oprah Winfrey welcomed the New Year with the launch of her eagerly anticipated Oprah Sports Program Network, or OSPN for short. Currently, the network is only airing live matches of puppy fighting, hosted by Oprah herself. Called “Oprah’s Puppies: Inspirational Fights to the Death,” the show features Oprah roaming the inner cities of America, capturing stray dogs and puppies, and forcing them to fight each other, often to the death. The show will create an estimated $15 billion in revenue for this year, which will cover the costs of the cutest fighting accessories for each of Oprah’s puppies, including boxing mitts for paws and several puppy-sized Harley Davidsons.
“For me, the launch of dog fighting on OSPN is the evolution of the work I’ve been doing on television all these years” Winfrey said. “Every puppy is hand selected by me for you, the viewers, and they’re all sooo cute.”
Until now, American puppy fighting has been restricted to the old-folks’ homes and the semi-dangerous alleyways outside of neighborhood grocery stores, but with Oprah’s new show, the puppy action will be shared with millions.
Critic Jim Smuda of Entertainment Weekly praised Oprah for revolutionizing cable and sports. “She’s bringing dog fighting to the American mother,” he said.
“By watching “Oprah’s Dog Fighting Rings,” I have become more in tune with my body and womanly needs,” said Melanie Smith, OSPN viewer, mother of three, and hopeful puppy fighting breeder.
The Los Angeles-based OSPN is replacing ESPN, ESPN 8, Fox Sports, and Lifetime.