With the year coming to a close, a campus-wide trend has been discovered as row house residents have begun to find their kitchenware in a sorry depleted state. Looking towards the future, houses has begun to conduct meetings with Bay Area start-ups and large national companies in search of corporate sponsorship. For the small sacrifice of altering familiar annual party themes for new names, such as “The Live Más Party Brought to You by Taco Bell, the Home of Fourthmeal,” businesses and corporations have agreed to provide all eating utensils and cups for house residences, to be replenished weekly in full.

Xanadu kitchen manager Lenore Geoffords was the first to venture out into the private sector.  “I just saw a real opportunity here for businesses to reach out to their demographic audience. And you know what? The rules of supply and demand are undeniable. With a few trivial concessions on our part, we are able to fulfill our needs for cutlery and cups without depleting our house funds.  This interview courtesy of ‘SnapChat How Do You Snap? Download the App Today Available on the App Store!’”

Little has changed on the Row thus far, as companies have only just begun to order their custom plastic cups, sporks, posters, and perhaps t-shirts for the especially eager. These are intended to be distributed at the start of the 2015-2016 academic year. While all students are looking forward to the day that they can drink a glass of water from a more suitable receptacle than a ceramic bowl, house hoarders have begun to make room for the mountains of kitchen goods they will be sneaking up to their rooms each night and forgetting to return.

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