(in response to the Op Ed by John E. in the Daily)

My only objection to the entirety of the Tournament of Roses concerns the actions of the University of Wisconsin band. The marching band was completely “professional” and farcical. The band-members’ lack of emotion was despicable and their passionless rigidity led me to question their desire to live. Although their prancing was equine in nature, I couldn’t help but consider that they made asses of themselves. And did you see those pompous uniforms? Appalling.

Don’t take pride in your ridiculously conformist ways; your absence of true talents is readily apparent from your nearly unfathomably boring ordinariness.

I don’t have any beef with tradition. Tradition is what makes the Stanford band so great. Just don’t follow it to the point where you blur the lines between musical zeal and insolently absurd frou-frou.

Shame on you, Wisconsin band. And shame on you, Mr. John E.

Billy B.

Moorcroft, Wyoming

You May Also Like

Ray Lewis to Become Terrifying Middle School Gym Teacher

Retractions



It has recently come to our attention that we have made some…

Op-Ed: I’m Going as Mario for Halloween, Not The Videogame Character, But The Guy Who Comes into My Dad’s Butcher Shop Every Month and Threatens to Break His Kneecaps if He Doesn’t “Do Right By Him”

Another year, another Halloween costume—and this time I’m dressing up as Mario…

Jeff Bezos Donates $800 Million to Reconstruct Notre Dame on Condition He Can Use as Fuck Shack

Public support for the reconstruction of the Notre-Dame de Paris after its…