Taylor Swift has decided to return to school- but it’s not just homework, books, and teachers’ dirty looks for this pop star. Swift has hit the the halls of a local high school in oversized shades and a baseball cap, searching for her next fling. While in the past Taylor has been linked to older men such as John Mayer and Jake Gyllenhaal, she has more recently succumbed to the nostalgic pull of her high school days by consorting with with eighteen-year-old Connor Kennedy and Harry Styles. Now that “Haylor” has come to an end, Swift is once again cruising through school zones for a romantic encounter.

A young male student who wishes to remain anonymous shared his harrowing story: “So this random lady in a hat and sunglasses came up to me and asked me how old I was. I told her I’m almost 20 and she just turned around and walked away.”

School authorities eventually caught wind of a strange woman roaming the halls and Swift was caught and questioned. When asked what she was doing in the high school, she broke down and said, “I don’t know! Last night I was sitting at home with some Ben & Jerry and I just remembered that Rihanna taught me that I could find love in a hopeless place, so I went to a high school. John and Jake hurt me really bad, but Connor was a sweetheart. Boys are so much nicer when they’re actually still boys….”

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