BAKERSFIELD, CA–In a major tragedy yesterday, an earthquake devastated a local Applebees. The Applebees had been home to several hundred consistent weekly visitors, but is now facing a minor inconvenience thanks to the quake.

According to Applebees waiter and witness, Luke Crowler, “When the quake hit, the tables started to shake a little bit, and six or seven plastic plates fell on the ground, but luckily didn’t break. We had to clean up some mustard on the ground, but that was mostly it.”

Several Applebees patrons were also affected by the earthquake, which measured 0.3 in magnitude on the Richter scale. “A little bit of water spilled on my napkin,” said 23 year old solo diner Rod Lausen. “But there was an extra one on my table.”

According to Bakersfield Applebee’s manager Lila Roppelt, the earthquake, nicknamed “Howie,” did not have any effect on the first rate quality of the egg rolls.

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