There are times in your life where you just stop where you are, and you feel this sudden and acute ache in your heart, like you’re missing something but you just don’t know what it is.

Well, worry no more! The variola virus, commonly known as smallpox, is back and better than ever, and ready to fill that gap in your life. Scientists had tried their darndest to get rid of smallpox, and they finally succeeded in 1980, almost two centuries of effort since the vaccine was invented by Edward Jenner in 1796. Thanks to the efforts of some brave individuals, though, smallpox remnants have been freed from the clutches of the CDC and adapted to be immune to Jenner’s vaccine.

And now, smallpox is beginning another one of its famous world tours! If you missed smallpox on its last run through, or if it had already been eradicated by the time of your birth, your chance is here. Don’t miss it! Though specific dates and locations haven’t been released yet, but it’s reasonable to expect that the Southeast, where the CDC is situated, might be the first to get some action. And here’s the best part—when smallpox does get to where you are, in order to celebrate its return, there’s no cost for seeing it! That’s right—admission is completely free! (Treatment bills not included)

So have fun, and be sure to grab a seat for the fun and festivities! Smallpox is back in town!

You May Also Like

Flip-Fit: How to Cut Fats and Sugars Right out of your Stomach

What is this? Flip-Fit is a new health and fitness blog featured…

Op-Ed: Welcome to the Gun Show

That’s right, ladies. Take it all in. I just came back from…

Op-Ed: I Time Traveled to the Year 3000 and the Jonas Brothers Were So Wrong About Everything

These goddamn Jonas Brothers. There I was, putting the finishing touches on…

Vancouver Welcomes Cross-Country Snowboarding For Newest Olympic Event

Evolved not from the highest levels of competition, but in the everyday…