Crothers Memorial, Stanford, CA—With fall quarter close to its end, R&DE saw an unparalleled rise in Housing Reassignment forms from Neighborhood N ginks. The cause? 49 juniors, and their third year living in Crothers Memorial. Flipside reporters interviewed some of them to understand the highs and lows — although let’s be honest, it’s mostly been lows — of being a Brother of the Crother.
Flipside first interviewed junior Mike Frost, who seems to have it the worst. “Well firstly,” his list started off, “the girl I hooked up with freshman year still lives down the hall from me.”
“He lives down the hall from me. Not my fault he rushed an unhoused frat,” Kath Morn, who we interviewed later, responded. Frost’s list continued to include his random roommates’ antics over the years, the dysfunctional stalls, and the inexplicable stench every room he lives in has. “Doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s the common denominator over three years and three different rooms,” Morn mentioned, “but I guess intelligence was never his forte to begin with.”
Junior Jack Cho seemed to be indifferent to the situation. When asked about his experience third year-ing at Cromem, Cho was unresponsive. In fact, throughout the entire 20 minute interview, Cho did nothing more than stare directly at our reporters’ souls. It is unclear what trauma or stress related experiences Cho endured to make him so reticent to answer our basic questions. What is known is that moments after our reporters left the room, Jack’s head collapsed and slammed forward onto the table. “CroMem Air”, a passing resident commented, “It always claims its first victim around this time”. Our reporters fled the scene shortly thereafter, not wishing to embark on that can of worms.
Despite the circumstances, one junior, who asked to remain anonymous, has been making the best of the circumstances — “well, saying I’ve been living in CroMem for three straight years is just plain sad. Saying I’ve lived in the same room in CroMem for three years? Now that’s comedy.” When we asked them about how they guaranteed getting the same room every year, they mentioned hacking into the system to get the first gate time. every. single. year. When asked why they didn’t use their gate time to assign somewhere that wasn’t CroMem, clear desperation and disappointment creeped into their eyes. “Fuck. Didn’t think about that.”
