BERKELEY, CA—Described as the next Sam Bankman-Fried and/or Elizabeth Holmes by his mother, University of California, Berkeley student Eugene Finkel developed a brand new, innovative startup that integrates artificial intelligence technology to help students decide what their next Halloween costume will be.

“All you have to do is upload a picture of yourself, full-frontal and completely nude, to the totally 100% secure servers,” said Finkel, fully erect. “And for a small fee of just 20 dollars a month, the advanced neural networks in the app will choose the perfectly optimal Halloween costume idea just for you.”

Finkel provided the Flipside team with his personal iPhone to test the application, which he dubbed Boo-tique. Immediately upon opening the app, users are presented with a wide array of customized advertisements intended to maximize click-through rate. On the demo iPhone, we were instantly enticed by ads ranging from micropenis condoms to furry BDSM smut. After waiting the requisite 30 seconds to close the ads, we were able to upload images to the server. 

The results impressed us. Straight away, we were recommended a plethora of amazing costume ideas, including Bad Luck Brian, Harambe, and Robert E. Lee. Finkel was quick to note that the AI training data was limited to pre-2017—but that it would be “totally lit once I get to updating it.”

Finkel remained quite optimistic about Boo-tique’s prospects. With its userbase growing at a rate of at least one per month, he aims to launch on Y-Combinator in just a few years. Finkel remarked, “If things go to plan, this will change everything—for me.”

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