Sources confirmed yesterday that an actor in Gaieties 2017 who has been on vocal rest for the past three days, Gen Erick ‘21, has decided to take a permanent vow of silence. Other sources confirmed that no one cares.

“I just feel more at peace than I’ve ever felt,” typed Erick in an email to the Flipside, along with a few lines of “Sry I’m on vocal rest lol” and “My throat hurtssss” and “Do you know sign language?”

According to Erick, these past 72 hours have been incredibly transformative for her, and have changed her entire outlook on life. She has switched her major from Management Science and Engineering to American Sign Language, with a minor in Vocal Health, and has vowed to never speak again. According to her classmates, they are almost glad. “Good for her,” said Elisa Trevors. “It makes no impact on my life.”

At press time, Gen was spotted tabling for Gaieties with a 5×5 foot sticky note taped to her chest that read “ON PERMANENT VOCAL REST, PLEASE DON’T TRY TO GET ME TO TALK.” Bikers pedaled idly by without realizing.

“Not being able to talk has opened up a whole new world for me. It’s invited self-reflection. And I’ve concluded that our voices are just tools, you know? We’re always talking, but why talk when you could just… be?” Erick added that she intentionally added ellipses and italicized the last word of that paragraph for dramatic effect, the full force of which would not have come across if the words were spoken aloud. “Gaieties will still go on without me. Maybe Reese Witherspoon will take my part! All I know is, I’m never talking ever again. And it’s not just for the attention.”

“She isn’t talking?” asked Gaieties director Arthur Montgomerysburg, “okay, I’ll go tell her understudy. Thanks for letting me know.”

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