PHE’s Stop Giving Out Glow in the Dark Condoms, Dudes Lose Their Dicks

In protest of the grotesquely low salaries they are being paid, peer…

Thanks to New SHPRC Policy, Freshman Has So Many More Condoms Not to Use Now

Following the announcement that the Sexual Health and Peer Resource Center (SHRPC)…

Partygoers Heed PHE Advice, Leads to Worst Exotic Erotic Ever

Many Sober, Fully Clothed Students Trek to 680 After many harshly worded…

Dormcest Leads to New Outbreak of Dormyphilis

Staff from freshman dorm Cedro report that the dorm has been hit…