Now That All That ASSU Impeachment Stuff Has Blown Over, Flipside Proud to Take Stance On It

April 18, 2020 11:29 am
Now That All That ASSU Impeachment Stuff Has Blown Over, Flipside Proud to Take Stance On It
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Typo on Chanel Miller Plaque Sets Process Back Another Three Years

11:26 am
Typo on Chanel Miller Plaque Sets Process Back Another Three Years
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Drug Dealers Table at Career Fair, Pitch Opportunity to Make World a Better Place

11:25 am
Drug Dealers Table at Career Fair, Pitch Opportunity to Make World a Better Place

Every spring, hundreds of men and women clad in suits and dress shoes descend into the midst of the tanktop-bearing, flip-flop-wearing Stanford student body. The recruiters’ goal: harness students’ undirected, bohemian energy, put it to use, and help them grow the heck up. This year was a little different, however. […]

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Florence Abroad Program Moved to Quarantined Spaghetti Factory Near Florence Where Students Learn How to Make Spaghetti

11:23 am
Florence Abroad Program Moved to Quarantined Spaghetti Factory Near Florence Where Students Learn How to Make Spaghetti

Following increasing reports of a coronavirus outbreak in northern Italy, rumors around the cancellation of the BOSP study abroad program in Florence have circulated campus. While the program did conclude, students were not sent back to the United States as was incorrectly confirmed by the Stanford Daily and the Fountain […]

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Stanford Mall Closes Down as Massive “Sue Mobs” Swarm the Parking Lots in Hopes of Free Tuition

11:09 am
Stanford Mall Closes Down as Massive “Sue Mobs” Swarm the Parking Lots in Hopes of Free Tuition

Over the past few weeks, mass hysteria has swept over the parking lots of Stanford’s premier boutique shopping mall. Drivers of all sorts — but especially those in luxury automobiles — find themselves unable to leave as immense hordes of Stanford students pack every nook and cranny of the asphalt, […]

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Oh No! 27th Consecutive Housing Email This Week Actually Contained Information Necessary for You to Graduate

11:00 am
Oh No! 27th Consecutive Housing Email This Week Actually Contained Information Necessary for You to Graduate

Following their first 26 emails this week, which contained zero relevant information and served no clear purpose, your dorm’s Housing Front Desk has now sent you a 27th email which — despite looking exactly like the first 26 — actually contains information necessary for you to graduate. Unfortunately, sources report […]

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Grinning EBF Resident Turns On Weed-Scented Glade Plug-In

March 1, 2020 10:39 am
Grinning EBF Resident Turns On Weed-Scented Glade Plug-In
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Student Staff Group Interview Devolves into Bloodbath After RF Throws Snapped Pool Cue, Depressed Frosh into Room

February 14, 2020 10:10 am
Student Staff Group Interview Devolves into Bloodbath After RF Throws Snapped Pool Cue, Depressed Frosh into Room

Applications for next year’s Resident Assistant roles at Otero took a dark turn last Saturday after what presented itself as a lighthearted opportunity for Resident Fellows to meet prospective RAs resulted in blood being spilled on the dorm’s carpeted floors. According to one survivor, Julia Juárez ’21, the applicants began […]

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Breaking: Flipside Will No Longer Be Independently Funding the FoHo

9:59 am
Breaking: Flipside Will No Longer Be Independently Funding the FoHo
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University Sure to Take All the Wrong Lessons from Latest Tragedy

January 24, 2020 10:22 am
University Sure to Take All the Wrong Lessons from Latest Tragedy
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