BREAKING: Lovers Exchange Heartfelt Poems and Roses Under a Romantic Full Moon

January 22, 2019 7:00 pm
BREAKING: Lovers Exchange Heartfelt Poems and Roses Under a Romantic Full Moon

Some claim that romance is dead. Some claim that days of boomboxing under a harassed girl’s window have past. Some claim that at Stanford, first base is sex and second base is getting their name. Well, some people are wrong, and last Sunday, Stanford students came out in force to […]

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Moms Are Up In Arms About The New Alcohol Policy, Say They Don’t Want Their Kids To Become Lightweight Pussies

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Moms Are Up In Arms About The New Alcohol Policy, Say They Don’t Want Their Kids To Become Lightweight Pussies
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Help! The Stanford Serra Camp Is Being Overwhelmed by Colored Folk and Needs YOUR Milky-White, God-Fearing, Upper-Middle Class Ass to Defend its Borders!

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I want you for U.S. Army : nearest recruiting station / James Montgomery Flagg. 1917. Library of Congress..War poster with the famous phrase "I want you for U. S. Army" shows Uncle Sam pointing his finger at the viewer in order to recruit soldiers for the American Army during World War I. The printed phrase "Nearest recruiting station" has a blank space below to add the address for enlisting...http://hdl.loc.gov/loc.pnp/ppmsca.50554

Hail, friend! Here be treasure, and booty, and loot, for those who know how to look! Free housing and bullion galore, and honor and merit to the brave souls who dare to venture out into those wild, wild wastes and help defend… Stanford Serra Camp! The Junipero Serra Camp is […]

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Full Moon on the Quad BINGO: FLIPSIDE EDITION 

January 14, 2019 7:00 pm
Full Moon on the Quad BINGO: FLIPSIDE EDITION 

  Flipside Member  “Sober” Monitor    Sober “Monitor”   A literal goldfish (A Tall) Flipside Member  Flipside Member with a Flappy Tongue   Two Flipside Members Stacked Under a Trench Coat Flipside Member  Flipside member in the middle of an existential breakdown   An actual tree. Like a birch or […]

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I Hate the Fucking Ski Trip—Let’s Go to Hell Instead

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I Hate the Fucking Ski Trip—Let’s Go to Hell Instead

The ski trip sucks, okay? Nobody cares about “mountains”, or “snow”, or “having fun”, or “contracting sepsis from the shitty beds or whatever I don’t really know what causes sepsis or even what sepsis is”. It’s a claustrophobic little fucknest of sin and depravity where you have to be in […]

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Vampires Invited Past Threshold of Kappa Sigma in Bid to Increase Diversity

December 10, 2018 7:00 pm
Vampires Invited Past Threshold of Kappa Sigma in Bid to Increase Diversity

Amid widespread criticism of Stanford’s Greek scene as “a place for white people to do white things,” members of Kappa Sigma have taken on a last-ditch effort to introduce some diversity to the frat with an open invitation for any interested vampires to enter their house. “People always complain about […]

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The Stanford Flipside Finals Survival Guide

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The Stanford Flipside Finals Survival Guide

I’m here to give you an all-inclusive, comprehensive, slightly erotic survival guide to get you through this week.  First, I sit down at a desk and prepare to get to work. Not my own desk, because there are too many empty Svedka bottles on it, which are arranged by the […]

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450 Heterosexual Females Not Matched in Marriage Pact All Get Free Teslas

December 3, 2018 7:00 pm
450 Heterosexual Females Not Matched in Marriage Pact All Get Free Teslas
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Student Only Now Getting Plague Mocked By Previously Poxed Classmates

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Student Only Now Getting Plague Mocked By Previously Poxed Classmates

The end of fall quarter is coming, bringing along with it an unhealthy amount of final projects, exams and presentations. For most students, these alone are enough to drive them to mental breakdown, obsessive ingestion of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, and late nights freebasing powdered sugar in the kitchenette to stave […]

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Acquaintance’s Enthusiastic “Hello” Sparks Confusion for Student Biker

November 27, 2018 7:00 pm
Acquaintance’s Enthusiastic “Hello” Sparks Confusion for Student Biker

In a perplexing turn of events Friday before break, sophomore Billy Redrick’s enthusiastic “hello” caused unwarranted levels of emotional distress for another student’s normally relaxing ride around campus as she was forced to consider what level of friendship would require her to stop her bike. “When he shouted “hello” and […]

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