An Inside Look at Stanford in the Year 2100

April 23, 2019 7:00 pm
An Inside Look at Stanford in the Year 2100

In the wake of the esteemed Susie Brubaker Cole’s report describing the neighborhood housing program to be implemented over the next century, we thought to consult our resident prophets and oracles to provide our beloved readers at a glimpse for what the Stanford campus that we call home might look […]

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A Royal Decree from DavidMan to the Stanford Community

April 16, 2019 7:00 pm
A Royal Decree from DavidMan to the Stanford Community

To Our Loyal Constituents  Serfs, We, the DavidMan, have deigned to take valuable time out of our day to address the peasantry; so hear our words, and take heed. It has come to our attention that we completely and utterly dominated the recent ASSU election in a landslide vote — the […]

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Imposter Syndrome is Leading Issue Among Students Who Murdered Admit and Stole Their Identity, Study Finds

April 15, 2019 11:59 am
Imposter Syndrome is Leading Issue Among Students Who Murdered Admit and Stole Their Identity, Study Finds

A recent study by Counseling and Psychological Services has identified imposter syndrome as the leading mental health issue among students who murdered an admitted high schooler and stole their identity, CAPS reported earlier this week. “Moreso than depression, anxiety, and eating disorders, our research suggests that imposter syndrome is actually […]

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FoHo’s Latest Issue is Just the Word “Allegedly” Printed Seven Hundred and Sixty-Three Times

March 20, 2019 8:43 am
FoHo’s Latest Issue is Just the Word “Allegedly” Printed Seven Hundred and Sixty-Three Times

Adoring fans of Stanford’s very own Fountain Hopper were shocked to find that last week’s issue was nothing more or less than the word “allegedly” printed a total of seven hundred and sixty-three times, down to the title of the publication and somehow also its page numbers. The particular style […]

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Introducing the Flipside’s New Righteous Retribution Program

8:41 am
Introducing the Flipside’s New Righteous Retribution Program

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Hey—isn’t the satire scene getting a little crowded around here?” I bet you think that to yourself all the time these past few weeks, because it’s true. It’s an issue that keeps us up at night, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, wondering […]

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Cardinal Nights Revealed to be Front for Underground Fight Club

March 11, 2019 7:00 pm
Cardinal Nights Revealed to be Front for Underground Fight Club

We’ve accepted bike crashes as commonplace at Stanford. Especially with the rain, we seem to acknowledge them as an inevitability, so much so that we should consider an introsem to teach Freshman who dress like graduate students (yes you with the over-the-shoulder bag and shoes so business casual they could […]

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Op-Ed: My Friends and I Pooled Our Meal Plan Dollars and Bought a 1976 Honda Civic

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Op-Ed: My Friends and I Pooled Our Meal Plan Dollars and Bought a 1976 Honda Civic
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In Effort to Reduce Transport Numbers, ResEd Bans Transports

March 4, 2019 7:00 pm
In Effort to Reduce Transport Numbers, ResEd Bans Transports

“We are thrilled to have arrived at such an innovative update to our drinking policies,” Vice Provost Susan Brubaker-Cole wrote in her most recent ResX Planning Update Email. “Our administration is now taking yet another thoughtful step to reduce dangerous student drinking by prohibiting it – a tactic proven effective […]

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In a Powerful Lecture at CEMEX Auditorium, Dinesh D’Souza Illustrates Holocaust with Sock Puppets

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In a Powerful Lecture at CEMEX Auditorium, Dinesh D’Souza Illustrates Holocaust with Sock Puppets

Invited by the respected hate group known as the Stanford College Republicans, guest speaker and mild fascist Dinesh D’Souza made his fourth appearance at the Farm on Friday. In an artful and avant-garde performance, D’Souza used homemade sock puppets to produce a musical comedy about the Holocaust complete with colorful […]

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My Parents Found Out I Never Lost My Baby Teeth and are Now Revoking My Meal Plan so I Can Go on An All-Jawbreaker Diet to Toughen Up

February 25, 2019 7:00 pm
My Parents Found Out I Never Lost My Baby Teeth and are Now Revoking My Meal Plan so I Can Go on An All-Jawbreaker Diet to Toughen Up

I’m from DC—a long way from Stanford, I know. But one of the reasons I came here is because it’s so far away from home. All I wanted was to not have to hide anymore, to have some place where I could be myself without worrying about judgment. Stupid of […]

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