CS Department to Add Karaoke Subtitle Mode to Lectures, Bouncy Dot Included

May 31, 2019 12:00 pm
CS Department to Add Karaoke Subtitle Mode to Lectures, Bouncy Dot Included

In an attempt to try to restore popularity to the discipline of computer science here on campus after the crushing blow of the removal of the popular CS+X program, Stanford’s CS department has announced its plan to provide subtitles with every lecture recording with an added twist: these subtitles will […]

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Op-Ed: Empirically, Frat Guys Paying at Tresidder with Number of Times Vomited is Not a Valid Form of Currency

May 21, 2019 5:00 pm
Op-Ed: Empirically, Frat Guys Paying at Tresidder with Number of Times Vomited is Not a Valid Form of Currency

“Okay, that’ll be fourteen dollars.” Ah, Tresidder Tuesday. Usually a rainy affair, one filled with the scents of salty desperation, missed dining hall hours, and throats filled with the same old cotton ball statements about how “I’d rather have a brick sunk to the bottom of the sea of my […]

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ResX is Susie Brubaker-Cole Playing Minecraft Alone in a Dark Room for 16 Hours a Day Making Her Perfect Stanford

May 20, 2019 11:59 am
ResX is Susie Brubaker-Cole Playing Minecraft Alone in a Dark Room for 16 Hours a Day Making Her Perfect Stanford

Sources recently revealed to the Flipside that Vice Provost for Student Affairs Susie Brubaker-Cole is super dedicated to her job. No, really. She’s putting in 80+ hours a week, but maybe that’s also because she’s all of ResX: a one-woman team, trying to make living at Stanford a better place […]

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Flipside News in Brief: Georgian Mistresses, AAU Surveys, and Night Rabbits

May 18, 2019 4:49 pm
Georgia State Capitol Building in Atlanta, Georgia, USA.

Georgia Passes de facto Abortion Ban, Exception for Senators’ Mistresses News came last week of a Georgia bill outlawing abortions, a potential challenge to the Supreme Court’s Roe v. Wade ruling. Interestingly, the fine print of the bill includes a single loophole — women ages 18 to 22 working under the […]

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So Cool! MTL Dabbed After Signing an Arms Deal With the Saudi Military, and It Is #GivingUsLife

April 30, 2019 7:00 pm
So Cool! MTL Dabbed After Signing an Arms Deal With the Saudi Military, and It Is #GivingUsLife

Okay, look — we all already know Marc “Daddy” Tessier “Daddy” Lavigne is the all-time coolest president of an elite private research university, but now it’s for goddam sure: MTL just did a celebratory dab after negotiating a successful arms deal with Saudi Arabia’s military, and it is #giving #us […]

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University Announces Plans to Build Massive, Useless Metal Structure Directly Outside Your Window

April 23, 2019 7:00 pm
University Announces Plans to Build Massive, Useless Metal Structure Directly Outside Your Window

As the recently-announced ResX task force’s plans for campus development continue to make waves, one sub-provision in the hundred-plus-page report has gone largely unremarked upon: the University’s plans to build an enormous, purposeless metal structure directly outside your dorm room window. “The space right outside your window, separated from your […]

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An Inside Look at Stanford in the Year 2100

7:00 pm
An Inside Look at Stanford in the Year 2100

In the wake of the esteemed Susie Brubaker Cole’s report describing the neighborhood housing program to be implemented over the next century, we thought to consult our resident prophets and oracles to provide our beloved readers at a glimpse for what the Stanford campus that we call home might look […]

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A Royal Decree from DavidMan to the Stanford Community

April 16, 2019 7:00 pm
A Royal Decree from DavidMan to the Stanford Community

To Our Loyal Constituents  Serfs, We, the DavidMan, have deigned to take valuable time out of our day to address the peasantry; so hear our words, and take heed. It has come to our attention that we completely and utterly dominated the recent ASSU election in a landslide vote — the […]

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Imposter Syndrome is Leading Issue Among Students Who Murdered Admit and Stole Their Identity, Study Finds

April 15, 2019 11:59 am
Imposter Syndrome is Leading Issue Among Students Who Murdered Admit and Stole Their Identity, Study Finds

A recent study by Counseling and Psychological Services has identified imposter syndrome as the leading mental health issue among students who murdered an admitted high schooler and stole their identity, CAPS reported earlier this week. “Moreso than depression, anxiety, and eating disorders, our research suggests that imposter syndrome is actually […]

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FoHo’s Latest Issue is Just the Word “Allegedly” Printed Seven Hundred and Sixty-Three Times

March 20, 2019 8:43 am
FoHo’s Latest Issue is Just the Word “Allegedly” Printed Seven Hundred and Sixty-Three Times

Adoring fans of Stanford’s very own Fountain Hopper were shocked to find that last week’s issue was nothing more or less than the word “allegedly” printed a total of seven hundred and sixty-three times, down to the title of the publication and somehow also its page numbers. The particular style […]

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