After banning flavors like mango, crème, and cucumber, due to deep investigations showing that youth vaping was on the rise, JUUL Labs insisted that all new flavors would be intended to solely serve adult populations. However, a recent “milk” flavor has been attracting massive amounts of infant customers. JUUL’s communications department asserts that this new market was shocking to them, and highly unintended.
Mothers everywhere are perplexed by this new trend of their babies crying for vape pens, but some mom blogs are intent on unravelling the root of the issue. @4mula_mama posted her theory on Reddit: “It’s always milk for breakfast, milk for lunch, milk for dinner, milk for snacks, I get why they might want a little variety! Breastfeeding is out. Vaping is making milk cool again.”
Newborns are now sleazier than ever, donning backwards knit beanies and unbuttoned onesies. Worse, In a public health issue that is suddenly coming to the world’s attention, their RSV droplet-filled clouds are fogging up playgrounds across the country, making viral infections spread concerningly easy. Critics say this is not an issue, and that the smoker cough is actually quite cute on babies.
JUUL continues to remain silent on this phenomenon, hoping to cling onto any shred of plausible deniability. Still, a nipple-shaped vape nozzle is predicted to hit the shelves next week, and infants everywhere are crawling with excitement.
