According to a representative, the Stanford Admissions office just today announced several changes to its online application.

buy stendra online drmasudjaved.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/04/png/stendra.html no prescription pharmacy

More thoughtful and profound, the application will now consist of the following essay questions:

  •  What matters to other people and why do you give a shit?
  •  Among the cancers you have cured, which was most memorable and why?
  •  Have you ever seen those cans of aerosol cheese? What’s with them? Who buys that shit?

In order to get a better feel for an increasingly diverse collection of applicants, Stanford has also announced the following “yes/no” questions:

  •  Is your last name Arrillaga?
  •  Are there any aspects of your life that are not both amazing and super chill?
  •  Do you know how to coach underachieving, overfunded football teams?

Please enter below the confirmation number texted to you.

You May Also Like

Dean Julie to Step Down in June: “If IHUM Goes, I Go”

After years of loyal service to Stanford, Julie Lythcott-Haims, Dean of Freshmen…

Freshmen Ashamed to Admit to Not Smoking Weed in Front of Father

Freshman Bailey Gibson went into winter break expecting a time of relaxation.…

Apple Location Tracking Data Reveals Entire History of Carmen Sandiego’s Whereabouts

In shocking news, Apple leaked information about their knowledge of the location…