Op-Ed: Apparently I’m a Russian Sleeper Agent Because Reading “Fried Chick’n” at Stern Dining Made Me Black Out and Torture the Guy Behind Me

As a resident of Stern Hall, I treat myself to the luxurious…

Man Who Kidnapped Transients and Locked Them in Sadistic Puzzle-Room Frustrated That They’ve Yet to Come Together as a Team

Furrowing his brow and putting his head in his hands with an…

New Horoscope App Tells You Whether Crush Likes You, As Well As Exact Date And Time Of Your Death

Riding the wave of recent horoscope hysteria, California-based app developer Code Zone…

Dear SCR: If I Use Dark Magicks to Infuse an Unholy Flesh-Golem with a Soul, But Abort the Ritual Prematurely, Is That Murder?

Prithee listen, thou kindly Stanford College Republicans, and heed my request for…

Freshmen Ashamed to Admit to Not Smoking Weed in Front of Father

Freshman Bailey Gibson went into winter break expecting a time of relaxation.…

Op-Ed: From Now On, if a Friend Shows Me a “Funny Video” and It’s Not Funny, I’m Going to Strangle Them with a Plastic Bag

You’ve had it happen to you, haven’t you? A friend, a comrade,…