Here’s the Tree week stunt I did that the University censored

Listen up, you cogs in the machine. The man, Daddy Stanford, censored my last Tree week stunt, but I won’t let it be covered up. I need to let the people know of my important, pithy social commentary, and quick. So here it is: I ate a backpack. Zippers, notebooks, gum wrappers and all. That’s right. I ate a backpack, so I in fact became the backpack myself; a physical and metaphorical transformation into the carrier of all of life’s important artifacts. And what was my dessert, you ask? It was a map. Folks, that’s because it wasn’t just any backpack, but Dora the Explorer’s backpack, and she means business.

Hey hahaha who wrote that totally untrue rumor about me in the bathroom Lol?

Hey hahaha I totally saw that super funny rumor written in the bathroom about me ahaha. So hilarious, and not true about me and horses. Wow I wonder what genius comedian wrote that thing about me having sex with lots of horses haha cause it not true haha so it’s funny that they made that up. Lol we’re all laughing cause we know it’s not true about me and that chestnut stallion banging one out in a hay bail last week. Lolll such a funny (untrue) joke. Haha to be clear, it’s not true and please stop writing stuff about me and Whinny haha okay cool no more rumors thx xD.

Is It Just Me, Or Does This New Birthday Ice Cream Taste Kinda Placenta-y?

I finally had the chance to go out and try the new Baskin Robbins “Birthday” Ice Cream. I don’t quite know where I stand. I guess it sure was meatier than my preferred cold dairy treat. I’m all one for new flavors and experiences, but does the texture have to be so fleshy and the flavor so gamey? It reminds me of that time I slipped and fell on the ice and bit my own tongue tip right off. I guess I could be the odd one out, but I do wish they’d go back to their former popular Birthday Cake Ice Cream, instead. Or maybe things just taste different in winter time…why am I eating ice cream now anyways?

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