Edith and Dale Fournier, maternal grandparents of Jake Fournier, recently revealed plans to completely ignore their “super fucking lame” grandson during their stay on campus. According to reliable sources, Jake was upset when he heard the development that even his own grandparents do not want to spend time with his lame ass. In an exclusive interview with Edith, she described her descendant as “…such a loser. His stupid face and stupid shoes…Bro, he’s such a beta, right Dale?” before performing an intricate handshake with her spouse of 40 years and proceeding to shotgun a Miller Lite, mid-afternoon. “Haha, totes brah,” responded Dale. “And those shoes. Holy shit, who would ever wear those pieces of shit haha,” in reference to the sneakers Jake’s other grandparents gave to him for his birthday. “Oh, there’s our golf cart. If you need to find us, we’ll be chillin’ with the alpha-as-fuck bros at Sigma Chi,” he added.
In response to these events, Jake reached out to the Flipside to defend himself, claiming he “definitely drank beer at some point in [his] four years here.”