Deep in the night, when moon doth reign

And freshmen here choose to remain

A strange affair we now unfurl

Where creepy grads watch pretty girl.

Where dormcest is a present force

Where mono occurs in due course,

Where one man will his cherry pop

And others see their boners drop.

Trees there are and fair nudists wide

For they have no sense of shame nor pride.

Your crush there is, beauty unplucked,

Twelve other faces she will have sucked.

Your RA too, radiant pure

Are those his balls, you can’t be sure.

The moon ascends, the bass drop hits

You breathe the smell of sweaty pits

All around you sweet nothings flow

You cannot choose but wish to go

And plant one kiss on her sweet lips

Too late, she grinds on douchey hips.

The party’s over, end the tune

Condoms across the ground are strewn.

PHEs are frightened, monitors too

They’ve seen the sweaty fumblings you

With love, or better lust, in mind

Have wrought, proving then that love is blind.

So, lend me your ears, if we be friends,

And Dylan will restore amends.

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