It looks to be a night of booze, beats, and barf this coming Friday at Beta Gamma Omega’s first annual “Regurgitation Rager,” a party aimed at truly capturing the spirit of a weekend at the Farm early in the Fall quarter.
“I mean, it really just gets right to the point,” said an anonymous brother of the fraternity. “We kept looking around for ideas for party themes, and we were having a lot of trouble.
All the good ones, like ‘Awkwardly Staring at Girls You’re Never Going to Dance With- Fest’ and ‘A Giving Up, Going Back to Your Dorm, and Working on You Econ P-Set Extravaganza’ had already been done. But we still felt like we could really find a theme that embodied the essence of a night at the house.
And then, one fateful Saturday morning, when we were cleaning up some Frosh’s chunks off the bathroom wall, we realized that the answer was right I front of us all along.”

Posters have already gone up throughout Wilbur and Stern, and excitement is building within the Class of 2017. Early reports hint that guys plan on going as janitors or ER doctors, and that girls plan on dressing as overwhelmed 18 and 19 year old girls struggling with their sexual identities as they transition into college.
If that doesn’t sound like a recipe for a party, it’s hard to imagine what is.

“Gee whiz!” said one Frosh as he stepped out of Okada, “That sure sounds like one ‘hella’ of a shin-dig! Also, do you know where the Memorial Auditorium is?” Whether or not the brothers of Gamma were wise in their choice of theme will only become clear after the weekend, but preliminary reports suggest that it will be a night to not remember.

You May Also Like

White People Around the Country Unsure of Whether It’s OK to Eat Fried Chicken on MLK Day

Every year on Martin Luther King Day, white people across the country…

Realizing It’s Only Week 4, Freshman Implodes And Creates Literal Black Hole In Dorm Room

On Tuesday, there were reports of a black hole forming in a…

You Should Really, Really Know my Name by Now

Look…I know I may not be the most assertive, in-your-face person, and…

Senators Embarrassed to Realize They Wore Same Goat Mask to Ritual Orgy

BOHEMIAN GROVE, CA — Noticing one another from across the foyer of…