New Startup Promises to Revolutionize…Fuck It, Who Cares

April 8, 2013 12:03 pm
Views: 478
New Startup Promises to Revolutionize…Fuck It, Who Cares

Three freshmen are planning to revolutionize the way people advertise with social media, or consult about marketing, or something. The freshmen met in Otero and immediately hit it off after discovering their shared interest in startups, social media, marketing, design, business, consulting, platform integration, big data, venture capital, development, educational technology, innovation, and Glee. Their startup, called, like, Piggly Wiggly, or Wobbly Wiggle, or something, is set to launch in…oh who fucking cares. This is clearly bullshit.

“We’re super excited to be working on our new social design integration platform that does…err…makes…uh…yeah, we’re super excited,” said Sam Potswallow, one of the founders. “We’ve got first stage VC funding, we just rented some office space, we’re ready to go!”

The founding members, all of whom are under 20 years of age, have been praised for their fresh, new and outside-the-box approach to whatever the fuck it is they claim to be doing.

“Sure we’re young, but we have a wealth of experience. Sam has been making websites since he was in high school, I’ve read tons of books about innovation and we all watched The Social Network together last weekend,” said Joon-Su Park, another founder.

The founders commented that at first they did not have a solid idea, but they knew they wanted to work on something. They still don’t have an idea, but now that the company, Ruddr or Robbr or some ridiculous word that really should have an ‘e’ before the terminal ‘r’ is up and running, they’re confident they’ll think of something soon. Anyway, they’ll probably make more money than half the people reading this when their bullshit product gets bought by some umbrella tech corporation to be used in a way they never actually intended.

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