The sun is shining, flowers are growing, birds are singing, and……okay those two squirrels are doing it. But I guess that’s spring for you. Because it’s getting warmer all the animals are coming out of their winter hibernation, and honestly, my little guy is waking up too. See the thing about spring is that the weather is gorgeous, and so are the girls. They’re not wearing those stupid winter clothes anymore. You know, those over-sized, over-fluffed, over-furry coats that make you look like a bear. Man, there is nothing so off-putting as a pair of earmuffs. Come spring, girls are finally wearing normal things again, like skinny jeans, tank tops, yoga pants, and my personal favorite, the sundresses. They’re flowy and short and I….I just can’t. And then the really daring girls bust out the booty shorts early. For some reason they’re even sexier in the spring than in the winter. New grass and flowers aren’t the only things shooting upwards, let me tell you.
 
Spring is all about growth and life, and I can’t help that my libido comes alive too. I know it isn’t just me; this season must put a lot of other people in the mood too. If all the little furry animals can get it on, why can’t we? As a wise man once said, “You and me baby ain’t nothin’ but mammals.” So to any girl who’s looking to celebrate the coming of spring with a coming of her own, hit me up. Because I’m not ashamed to admit that spring makes me horny. 

You May Also Like

As End of Subscription Period Nears, Student Decides Which Friendships to Renew

Clicking through his Facebook photos, sophomore Jeff Rogers knew he was facing…

Op-Ed: When They Said Stanford Supports Systemic Oppression, That’s When I Knew I was a FoSho Fro

I’ll never forget that moment. It was admit weekend, the activities fair,…

What a Year it Has Been

Late Saturday morning a dirty, disheveled figure emerged from a single in…

God Awkwardly Forgets Son’s Birthday Again

According to scriptural and journalistic sources, God forgot the December 25th birthday…