Hey everyone,

It’s me again. Of course, I don’t need an introduction, you’ve all seen my 15 daily posts on our Facebook group. At this point, you probably don’t even have to look at my name—you just know my profile picture by heart. And ladies, yes, that is me on a service trip to Guatemala. It was so rewarding and enlightening to work in such an underprivileged community! There is no doubt in my mind that this one experience will be the impetus for me to single-handedly change the world as soon as I graduate.

I’m a pretty outgoing dude. There’s really no getting around my social talents. I’m a friend-making guru, and I’m sure that my fun, yet quirky, questions will indubitably make you like me. It’s pretty obvious that each person’s social prowess will directly correlate to their prevalence on this Facebook page. At this rate, I’ll be the most popular guy on campus. Fuck me if I’m not a straight-up celebrity when I get to Stanford.

Hey, have we exchanged college essays yet? I’ll just go ahead and post mine directly in this group. Also, how did everyone do on their SATs? I don’t see how this could be an inappropriate question in any way, so I’m going to publicly announce that I got a 2270 (so excited! ;D).

But I’m not all about academics. Sometimes I’ll just ask how everyone’s day has been going because I’m sociable and kind as fuck. I also can’t imagine that you guys wouldn’t want to know tons about me, so don’t be alarmed if you see me post my favorite animals, least favorite foods, movie reviews, cooking recipes, links to random funny videos I saw, or just a countdown of the days left until Admit Weekend.

And while you other admits might try and dilute my dominance over this Facebook group, know that you will never be on my level. I am the alpha of this group, and whether you like it or not, I’ll be the one clogging your Newsfeed until September. Can’t wait to meet you all 😀

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