We hope this message finds you well as you settle into your post-doomsday existence. Like many of you, the Flipside was well-prepared for Armageddon–as a satirical publication we’ve become accustomed to discerning the fine line between fact and fiction, and the Mayans’ predictions of imminent doom for all seemed pretty straightforward compared to some of the real-world news we’ve parodied. Of course, we also knew that the Flipside was intrinsically well-equipped to handle any catastrophe capable of bringing about the end of existence: after all, we’ve demonstrated the hardy resilience to survive four straight years of Stern Dining.
We are therefore pleased to announce that the Flipside will continue to serve its loyal readers in whatever post-apocalyptic civilization has risen from the ashes of our once-proud Stanford University. In the event that we were finally overrun by our robot overlords, then we have prepared several articles and puzzles written only in binary (though the Cryptogram Challenge is trivially easy with only 0s and 1s to work with). If the end came about through demonic hellfire that wiped out the forests and therefore the international paper supply, well it’s a good thing we have been stockpiling alternate material (cups from Arillaga Dining, RedZone tshirts, freshmen’s bikes, etc.) on which to print the Flipside. Finally, if humanity has in fact survived but has been reduced to a primitive society of hunter-gatherers, then we urge you to note that the Flipside not only makes a fashionable loincloth, but is unusually high in Vitamin B6 as well.
Again, the Flipside thanks you for your continued support through this time of nuclear winter/zombie-controlled wastelands/post-apocalyptic hellscapes. Now go forth, steal our jokes to impress potential mates, and start repopulating the Earth.