In a study released last week by the Stanford Psychology department, it was found that those who identify as compulsive liars were found to have way more sex than the average individual.

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“This is actually a shocking finding,” said Howard Fentburn, professor of behavioral psychology and lead of the study.

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“We hypothesized that liars would have less sex by a statistically significant amount, mainly because nobody likes a liar.”

However, the results proved the opposite. We got in contact with Joey Sagat, the undergraduate responsible for all the bitchwork, to find out more about the study.

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“I conducted over 400 interviews across campus with both liars and non-liars. The liars had way more sex, and I mean by a lot. And we found that across all dimensions, in number of partners, types of sexual activity, and how crazy the stories were, the liars just dominated.

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In order to find out whether the subjects were liars, the interviewers simply asked. No one was critical of this procedure.

It was found that the average non-liar had had two sexual partners in their lifetime, and the average liar had had sixty-four.

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