In a study released last week by the Stanford Psychology department, it was found that those who identify as compulsive liars were found to have way more sex than the average individual.

“This is actually a shocking finding,” said Howard Fentburn, professor of behavioral psychology and lead of the study. “We hypothesized that liars would have less sex by a statistically significant amount, mainly because nobody likes a liar.”

However, the results proved the opposite. We got in contact with Joey Sagat, the undergraduate responsible for all the bitchwork, to find out more about the study. “I conducted over 400 interviews across campus with both liars and non-liars. The liars had way more sex, and I mean by a lot. And we found that across all dimensions, in number of partners, types of sexual activity, and how crazy the stories were, the liars just dominated.”

In order to find out whether the subjects were liars, the interviewers simply asked. No one was critical of this procedure.

It was found that the average non-liar had had two sexual partners in their lifetime, and the average liar had had sixty-four.

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