Local grad student Mark Henderson has announced he will abstain from sexual intercourse until he is elected to public office or becomes a football coach. “I’ve made the decision to wait,” said Mark as he flipped through the pages of Playboy just to read the articles. “I think sex is best saved for when I’m holding political office or coaching football.” Mark claims that he won’t even have sex with his wife if he were to marry before reaching political office. “I have really strong beliefs,” said Mark, though he conceded that he might have sex if he became a high school teacher.
You May Also Like
Stanford May or May Not Hold Waitlist Weekend Sometime in the Middle of June
In an effort to foster unity among the admitted and waitlisted students,…
- Jeremy Keeshin
- April 20, 2009
Tactical Withdrawal From Conversation No Match For Tactical Airstrike
Austin Mckenton was tragically killed during Frost this past weekend as a…
- Jonathan Engel
- May 16, 2016
2nd Grade Artistic Savant Crucial in Catching Stanford Robber
North Park Elementary 2nd grader and renowned criminal sketch artist Joey Habman…
- Jeremy Keeshin
- October 17, 2011