Local grad student Mark Henderson has announced he will abstain from sexual intercourse until he is elected to public office or becomes a football coach.
“I’ve made the decision to wait,” said Mark as he flipped through the pages of Playboy just to read the articles.
“I think sex is best saved for when I’m holding political office or coaching football.
” Mark claims that he won’t even have sex with his wife if he were to marry before reaching political office.
“I have really strong beliefs,” said Mark, though he conceded that he might have sex if he became a high school teacher.

You May Also Like

Forget the News: Media to Report the Actions of Small Town Nutjobs

With the spectacular ratings generated by Gainseville, Florida pastor Terry Jones and…

Girl From Nearby High School Knows Some of the Same People

Kelly Jurgensen, a senior from Highland Park High School in the Chicago…

Amazing – Schoolyard Kid Single-Handedly Eliminates Bullying by Choosing Smallest, Wimpiest Kid for His Recess Dodgeball Team

The sun was out, the birds were chirping, and the 8. 5-inch…