After revoking the lease from Chi Theta Chi, the university went in to clean up and renovate the house to bring it in accordance with university standards (two desks per room, one mirror, a house map, etc). However, during this renovation, many previously undiscovered secrets were revealed.

The janitorial team discovered the remains of Leland Stanford Junior among numerous dead bodies hidden in the basement.

University officials announced that they also found the body of Azia Kim, the guy who got lost in Malaysia, and the Indian guy who smelled like apples.

“It’s absolutely unbelievable,” clamored one concerned freshman, Steph Blackmon as she stood looking at the house she claimed to have partied at once by accident. “It’s amazing that he still smells like apples.”

So far no XOX residents have been charged with any crimes, but they have already fled the premises. Most are currently living in Meyer, while others have taken refuge at the Band Shak, the steam tunnels, and the basement of the psych building.

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