In a recent scientific breakthrough that could change the way we view the human race, a group of researchers has managed to synthesize and isolate the gene for douchiness.

online pharmacy buy valtrex no prescription with best prices today in the USA

“Those born with this chromosomal abnormality often have a neck muscle deformity that precludes them from folding down the collars of their shirt,” said Michael Thompson, the lead researcher on the douche project.

buy clomiphene online https://visualhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/jpg/clomiphene.html no prescription pharmacy

“The gene also impacts tongue flexibility, resulting in a speech impediment which prevents individuals from pronouncing proper pronouns in their entirety.

buy anafranil online https://visualhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/jpg/anafranil.html no prescription pharmacy

In the weeks following the breakthrough, scientists have opened testing centers so at risk individuals can determine if their children will be afflicted with the condition. Dennis Sheffield, a member of Sigma Chi, was relieved to discover he possessed the gene.

online pharmacy purchase kamagra oral jelly online with best prices today in the USA

“It all makes sense now,” remarked Sheffied. “I finally know why I refer to myself as ‘D-Spot’ and why I have a strange penchant for Ed Hardy t-shirts.

online pharmacy buy pregabalin no prescription with best prices today in the USA
online pharmacy purchase flexeril online with best prices today in the USA
buy mobic online https://visualhealth.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/10/jpg/mobic.html no prescription pharmacy

I also know what I have to do to ensure my children will be douches like me.”

You May Also Like

Stanford Admissions Gambling Ring Exposed

STANFORD– In a dimly lit room in the back of Stanford’s Office…

Student Caught Doing Something Cheerful During Holocaust Seminar

Senior Jon Harbeck came under fire yesterday failing to maintain an expression…

Curfew violated… by WOLVES! It’s late at night and they are prowlin’

Awwwwoooooooooo!  That’s right: the moon is bright, the stars are out, and…

National Lampoon Announces New Flick, ‘Hot Prowl’

Following their last big hit, the makers of ‘Animal House’ and ‘National…