Israel and Palestine Reach Agreement: Modern Family Is Hilarious

After years of bitter struggle, the Israel and Palestine camps have reached an agreement: Modern Family is the best show on television.

Negotiations had been at a standstill until both sides realized it was almost eight o’clock and Modern Family was about to start.

Political pundits explained that negotiations had to be put on hold because neither side would tolerate missing the beginning of the show. They also explained that, oftentimes, a recurring theme or joke is established within the first few minutes that ties together the entire episode.

“Those gay guys–they are so funny,” said a man with an accent, who may have belonged to either side.

“When Phil Dunphy came on, we realized it was time to put aside our differences and gawk at the stupid white people on the screen,” said right-wing militant and religious zealot Zev Ben-Hofferwitz.

The peace accord quickly deteriorated when it was discovered that Steven Levitan, Jew, was involved in the production of the show.

Despite this, the agreement marked the biggest advance in Middle East Peace since Jimmy Carter convinced the Israeli and Egyptian leaders to enjoy “Dallas” in 1978.