In a stunning attempt to save the dying newspaper industry, the Stanford Flipside, Stanford’s premier news source, has instituted a paywall policy requiring readers to sacrifice their first born child to access Flipside content online.

Many on the Flipside staff say the paywall has been a year in the works, and fear this is the only way to make up for decreasing advertising revenues.

“It’s a high price to pay, but it’s worth it for high quality journalism,” said 80 year old and lifetime subscriber Bill Fentam. “Print is dying and you need to cover your ass somehow.”

Other Flipside readers think the paywall pricing is a bit steep. “I understand that they have their tiered system, but sacrificing my second child for access to the iPad app and website is too much for me,” said reader Jeanette Odgen. “And the trouble is, I really enjoy reading the Flipside.”

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