WASHINGTON, DC—Last week, while Congress was in recess, President Obama, in a brilliant display of executive power, asserted his authority by filling fifteen vacancies. Obama appointed important congressmen, politicians, and schoolyard heroes to positions of critical importance. They include the appointment of Nancy Pelosi to the jungle gym, Sarah Palin to hopscotch, and Bobby the 4th grader to the swing set.

When asked why he made these recess appointments, Obama explained, “Recess is the most valuable time we have. It is during recess that we can relax, play games, and connect with our peers. It was in this environment that I wanted to make my appointments.”

In sum, political analysts conclude that Obama’s delegation of Recess responsibilities has allowed the Democratic Party to build a stronger base (And what a base it is. The fort has seven couch cushions and over 20 pillows!) which should allow them to overtake the Republicans in the upcoming midterm elections.

Mrs. Jones, 2nd grade teacher and expert in the politics of recess, explained why Obama’s appointments were effective: “It’s brilliant, really. I’ve monitored recess for 25 years and I’ve never seen anyone manage recess so effectively. The nomination of Craig Becker to the four square court was a bold move, considering he plays with no spinnies and double-hitties.


Because the Republicans don’t control the recess appointments, they have resorted to bullying. Top Republican bully Karl Rove described what the strategy might look like. “Well, the Democrats’ power comes from the jungle gym—that’s where they’ve built their political base. If we sneak in from the back, we can destroy the base and win the election. If properly executed, this effort will be just as effective as our name-calling was against ‘Flip-Flop Kerry’ in 2004.” (Adler)

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