Bill Clinton Hospitalized for Paper Cut

Former President Bill Clinton was hospitalized this Thursday to obtain medical care for what doctors concluded was a massive paper cut.  Doctors immediately bandaged the wound and gave his boo-boo a kiss.

Dr. McDonald, chief of surgery at Washington Methodist, said, “It was good that he came in when he did.  If we hadn’t done this procedure immediately, Mr. Clinton would have probably gotten an infection and died a horrible, painful death.”