Incoming freshman Ryan O’Connell, who considered himself an “outstanding” suck-up to authorities in high school, experienced a huge shock in his first week at Stanford when he found multiple people much more adept and experienced at the art of brownnosing.
“It was just very strange,” O’Connell said.
“In high school, I was always the best one at making the teachers like me and getting undeserved A’s.
But now that I’m here in college, it seems like everyone is better at being a teacher’s pet than I am, and I just don’t know if I deserve to be here.
” However, O’Connell vowed to work his hardest to improve and pledged he would start at square one by continually narcing on all his IHUM section classmates.

You May Also Like

Math Department Does Away With “Improper” Terminology

In an effort to present a more inclusive, diversity-conscious face to the…

Study Finds People Who Live Longer Are More Likely to Die

A research team at Johns Hopkins University has found that there is…

Duke Researcher Invents AIDS Cure, Has Attractive Secretary

Yesterday Dr. William Pallingham, a researcher at Duke University, announced the successful…

Administration Relieved To Know Worse Idea Than THINK Exists

After three years spent worrying that THINK was the worst possible replacement…